I'll admit it, I'm obsessed with Tinkerbell.
Pretty sure she's my spirit animal.
I mean, look at the similarities!
She slouches... I slouch...
She's so pale you can see through her... I'm so pale I don't need to wear reflective gear at night...
(just kidding on that, be safe, folks!)
Uhm, she makes creepy faces... I definitely accidentally do that!
Ok, not the best examples. But I also like to see her as somebody who was a character in the stories of other peoples lives until recently (she has a 4 movies about her now).
And that's kind of how I used to feel. Like I wasn't important enough to have my own stories. Like I needed to be in the company of others to have anything worth saying. Like my voice was merely a bell that others couldn't understand.
With running, I choose my story on my own. I get to spend a good amount of time secluded while outdoors, and I get to think about things that are important to me. It's not like I make a list of things to think about before I leave (although that would be interesting to try sometime), I just think about what needs thinking about, spontaneously. Oh goodness, I hope that that makes sense. Haha.
For example, the other day I realized that I might be very upset if my mom doesn't run the Tink 1/2 marathon in January. But I think the hurt feelings will come from a place of sadness that she wasn't able to do it. I mean, able to do it physically and mentally, not due to a scheduling conflict (which, if you're reading this mom, you better have that weekend wide open! My heart will be seriously broken if you aren't at least there with me, running or not). I just really want my mom to be able to do this. One of the many reasons I push myself, is because I want to believe that she's thinking of how hard I'm working when she does her workouts. I want to inspire.
I want to inspire.
No really, I draw my strength from inspiring others to find their strength.
So like Tinkerbell, I might still need people to believe in me for me to be strong.
But more importantly, I'm like Tink because I'm determined to keep trying. Really, really determined to keep trying. I might make some misguided choices (i.e. everything Tink does in her newer movies), but they will always come from the best intentions.