I'm BACK and My Cold Is (Mostly) Gone!

Alright everybody! 

I really need to start by saying THANK YOU!

I've been feeling really down on myself this last week, because I was having trouble running while I was traveling for 5 days, and then I got sick, and then I wounded my toe and it all was so overwhelming to me that I felt like I was being forced to quit before I even got to try and meet my short-term goals. 

But you guys have been SO great to me!

I don't know how I earned such awesome friends, but y'all seriously are rocks tars to me. 

Everybody I talked to about how down I was feeling had encouraging things to say. 

Everybody told me that they were so inspired by me, that they'd been trying to change unhealthy habits, that they believed in me, that they KNEW I could do it. 

So THANK YOU!! 

You are all so amazing and you can do anything you set your mind to, and you need to take the advice that you give me and use it yourself! Don't self-sabotage, don't pig out when you don't get a work-out in, it never should be "all or nothing," and you can do this!! 

So today I ran with this chick:

This is my lovely neighbor, and she totally got me out of my rut. She's been in one for the last week, too, so she totally knew my head space on this run. We left the house and were out for about an hour. We did just under 4 miles and ran a little over half of that distance. 

We can dream about doing amazing when we break our ruts, and think that we'll do amazing because we have no sore muscles or reasons to be tired. But the truth is, that's not practical! 

I'm still a teeny bit sick, so my breathing was very labored. I'm sure it could have been easier if I wasn't still sick a little, because, ya know, not having the easiest breathing while being totally still doesn't mean easy breathing while active. But despite beating myself the entire time, I got home and felt really satisfied!

I broke my rut, and that feels great. I'm ready to kick booty, and I can't wait to be back to my full self. Running has really become something that I look forward to, so being able to do it easier is the goal!

My first 5k is a week from Saturday, and I'm really hoping to be my best by then. I want to get back to how I felt 2 weeks ago, and then break through that after my 5k. I don't want to get my expectations too high, so I'm being practical here in saying that I'm not going to amazing for my first 5k. 

BUT!!

I am going to have fun. 

Again, thank you all sooooooo much for your kind words, you have no idea how much it means. 

Good luck and good health to you and yours!!

Peanut Butter for Dayzzzz

I got another package in the mail today!

It contained a bag of PB2 chocolate, which is DELICIOUS.

It's a dehydrated peanut butter powder, and the one I got was chocolaty as well. 

I think it's especially cool because it doesn't have all of the oil in it, so it's much lower in calories. So I can eat tons of peanut butter now! 

To make it into a spread, you just combine it with water. So simple!

Because it's a powder, I can use it in my oatmeal, in smoothies and shakes, and in pancakes!

I can't wait to try it in everything!

Right now I'm drinking it in one of my protein shakes and it tastes like a Reese's milkshake! Yum!

Tonight, BR2 and I have our first weekday running class, and it sounds like a bunch of fun!

They'll be timing how long it takes for us to do a mile and I'm aiming for a sub-12 minutes time... I'm setting the bar pretty low for myself so that I might be able to surprise myself. Haha!

I'll definitely let you all know my time, because if you know how pathetic it is, I HAVE to make it better. Lol. You guys help hold me accountable, so tell your friends about me! 

I signed up for another run today. I think I have a problem.

I was already signed up for 6 and I just had to sign up for a 7th one... 

I'm doing it! A friend of mine invited me to join her, so I simply must! 

It's an evening run, which should be a special treat for me because I always enjoy my after dark runs so much more (: 

It's June 8th in San Francisco! Who wants to join us?!

Tinkerbell-Brained and Good Intentions

I'll admit it, I'm obsessed with Tinkerbell.

Pretty sure she's my spirit animal.

I mean, look at the similarities! 

She slouches... I slouch...

She's so pale you can see through her... I'm so pale I don't need to wear reflective gear at night...

(just kidding on that, be safe, folks!)

Uhm, she makes creepy faces... I definitely accidentally do that!

Ok, not the best examples. But I also like to see her as somebody who was a character in the stories of other peoples lives until recently (she has a 4 movies about her now).

And that's kind of how I used to feel. Like I wasn't important enough to have my own stories. Like I needed to be in the company of others to have anything worth saying. Like my voice was merely a bell that others couldn't understand.

With running, I choose my story on my own. I get to spend a good amount of time secluded while outdoors, and I get to think about things that are important to me. It's not like I make a list of things to think about before I leave (although that would be interesting to try sometime), I just think about what needs thinking about, spontaneously. Oh goodness, I hope that that makes sense. Haha.

For example, the other day I realized that I might be very upset if my mom doesn't run the Tink 1/2 marathon in January. But I think the hurt feelings will come from a place of sadness that she wasn't able to do it. I mean, able to do it physically and mentally, not due to a scheduling conflict (which, if you're reading this mom, you better have that weekend wide open! My heart will be seriously broken if you aren't at least there with me, running or not). I just really want my mom to be able to do this. One of the many reasons I push myself, is because I want to believe that she's thinking of how hard I'm working when she does her workouts. I want to inspire. 

I want to inspire. 

No really, I draw my strength from inspiring others to find their strength.

So like Tinkerbell, I might still need people to believe in me for me to be strong. 

But more importantly, I'm like Tink because I'm determined to keep trying. Really, really determined to keep trying. I might make some misguided choices (i.e. everything Tink does in her newer movies), but they will always come from the best intentions. 

Do you think good intentions are enough when committing to a new path?

Getting Inspired In Unexpected Places! (seriously a post worth reading)

Today I had my first group training session! It's set up to help people prepare to run the MOOnlight rac in July. I probably won't actually do the race, but I wanted a training group.
Here's a cute picture of the mascot:

 Anyways, the training group was really fun and BR2 showed up only a couple minutes after me so we started out together. 

I was really trying to push myself to go fast and have short walking intervals, but about halfway through, I realized that this was an opportunity to run with some new people!

Don't get me wrong, I love BR2 a ton, but I run with her all the time. 

So as I was turning to go back, I noticed somebody who had been going pretty slow, but was clearly pushing herself. Something in me said, "Don't make this run about you!" and so as I as going to pass her going the other way, I turned around and asked if I could jog with her the rest of the way. 

She said yes! And I had an awesome time!

It was her first time running in a looooong time, she said. But she ran most of it!

She was slow, but it was good for me to actually jog at a pace that didn't tire me out, so I could learn that pace for longer runs. And I really enjoyed talking to her! She was probably in her 40's, and she said she had a couple of kids, I think. I don't know, she just reminded a lot of my own mother. 

When I told her of my plans to run the Tinkerbell Half in January 14, she got really excited and said that that sounded like a goal she wants to add to her life! How cool?!

She kept telling me that she wouldn't mind if I went ahead and went faster to finish sooner. But it wasn't about that for me! I can go run faster later, but I really was inspired by her! It was like holding up a mirror to me a month ago during my first run and it made me realize that I've progressed so far in only a month! I'm even thinking about stepping on the scale again soon.

By the end she even said how nice it was to have somebody to keep up with. Haha.

Anyways, I had a seriously realization yesterday when I was trying to do my furthest distance so far.

I realized that I'm not running to lose weight anymore. I realized that it may have been the reason I started, but now, I run to be better. Like, I don't care anymore about how quickly the number on the scale drops. 

All I care about now, is getting to the end of a workout. 

Did I blow your mind? I hope I did. Haha.

What inspires you to keep going?
Have any of your goals changed lately?

My Event Schedule

So it's Salad Thurday! 

I was so excited to eat that I forgot to take pictures! But here's a fun picture for you:

That's my running spreadsheet of all the events I had an interest in. The purple ones are the ones I have a STRONG interest in, and the yellow ones I AM GOING TO!!! OR ELSE!!

I also ran a PR today! 2 miles down in 23 minutes. Today's motto was, "One more step. One more step. One more step closer to health." 

I like cheesey mottos.

But I also did a total of 3 miles today. Which is also awesome. So sore now, and I'm going to take a nice soak after my BR counterpart and I watch a movie!

Now to watch Because I Said So with my salad buddy! 

I definitely have a crush on Mandy Moore. Somebody PLEASE tell me she's a runner. And that she's cool enough to read this. 

Shameless Optimism

Today I was running (duh) and realized that through all of the blogs I read, I haven't found one for women running for weight loss, but also running to prepare for a race!

Well, that would be me. And I spend a lot of time reading blogs Mostly running blogs. but also nutrition blogs. And general athletic magazine websites.

So here goes: I was once a very active person. I lost my way about me... and weighed in at 250 pounds!! Needless to say, I wasn't happy with that number. I was also unhappy with my low energy level, and especially how inactive I was! So now I'm 40 pounds down, 30 miles up, and 6 5k races away from a half marathon! 

I am VERY excited! 

I'll be doing posts on clothing, foods, I'll put up some recipes, and most importantly, I'll tell you about being a big girl runner. 

Wish me luck!